


America Meets United Kingdom

by cakeengland, Kirbygirl81



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: ALSO THEY LIVE IN AMERICA AND THE UK TO MAKE OUR LIVES EASIER PALS, ALSO THEY'RE ALL NORMAL PEOPLE, Also Kyoko will kill everyone, Also it's a YouTuber/Skype chat au, But if she dies, But its chill, Chiaki is dating memelords, EVEN MONOKUMA AND MONOMI, EVERYONE - Freeform, EVeryone is a lil ooc, Hinata and Komaeda are memes, I promise, It's her own fault, LITERALLY, More characters to be added, Multi, Nobody Will Die, She is also a grammar queen, THIS IS A MEME FIC, chiaki's dead inside, it's a fifty-fifty chance if we use their first or last names, its funny, ngl, they're teachers, we don't know yet, well maybe Junko
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-24 21:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9788018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakeengland/pseuds/cakeengland, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirbygirl81/pseuds/Kirbygirl81
Summary: What happens when American and British YouTubers come together in a huge Skype Chat?Well, let's just say Chiaki Nanami has many. Many. Many regrets.





	1. America Meets United Kingdom

**Author's Note:**

> Author Kyoko has actually not watched/played DR. She has anxiety.
> 
> But Author Chiaki has and made this a literal meme not gonna lie.
> 
> But that was Author Kyoko's idea, and she helped a lot. 
> 
> By the way, only one person will probably die.

**Chiaki:** You little shots go to sleep I’ll kill you all

 **Naegi:** Shots????

 **Chiaki:** You fucking know what Makoto

 **Chiaki:** I am flying to America and killing your girlfiend

 **Naegi:** Girlfiend

 **Chiaki:** YOU KNOW WHAT

 **Chiaki:** I will stab you

 **Chiaki:** With a GameCube controller

 **Naegi:** Good luck getting past my girlfiend

 **Kyoko:** Makoto you have a death wish.

 **Chiaki:** Ibuki I’m takinf your guitar and smashing Naegi with it

 **Komaeda:** Smashing as in smashing or smashing as in sex  
  
**Chiaki:** Komaeda fuck off

That’s how Chiaki Nanami immediately regretted making the _United Kingdom Meets America_ group chat.

* * *

The night of February 15th started off relatively calm, until a certain female gamer was scrolling through her YouTube comments, seeing loads of different people nearly screaming at her to collaborate with many different American YouTubers. Sure, she had heard of all of them at one point, but to collaborate with any of them was a different story.

**_Mistakes were made._ **

Chiaki emailed most of the YouTubers, asking for their Skype account names. All but Junko Enoshima got back to her, which left her very unsurprised considering Junko’s personality.

But she ended up in the group chat anyways because of a certain Makoto Naegi.

* * *

 **Junko:** mmkay so imma start drama

 **Naegi:** no don’t  
  
**Junko:** someone has to do it  
  
**Naegi:** literally no one has to do it  
  
**Junko:** _someone has to do it_

 **Mahiru:** Literally nobody has to??? Stop???

 **Junko:** fucking fight me bitch

 **Sayaka:** Okay so what is this?? I know its a bunch of anerican youtubers and british youtubers but like??

 **Naegi:** Its called a meme

 **Naegi:** also americam*

 **Naegi:** Anerican

 **Naegi:** amrrivsb

 **Naegi:** ameriana  
  
**Naegi:** new amercazan

 **Naegi:** Americana

 **Naegi:** maeirsdljbgads;owbour[wgn dsn;bgafs

 **Kyoko:** MakotoNaegi.exe has stopped working.

 **Kyoko:** So has KyokoKirigiri.exe because this is so painful to watch.

**Junko:**

**Saionji:** how the fuckity fuck are you doing that tf

 **Junko:** magic

 **Naegi:** Chiaki may have made mistakes but we haven’t.

 **Naegi** : kyoko typed that im sorry for my increidble grammar

 **Kyoko:** makoto stop it n o i hate you st op

 **Kyoko:** The bitch stole my computer.

 **Naegi:** no i didnt

 **Kyoko:** Yes you did.

 **Naegi:** no i didn

 **Kyoko:** Yes you did you little fuck.

 **Junko:** Ooo is this some lovers drama i see

* * *

 **Despair Queen** has uploaded a video titled:

**Makoto Naegi and Kyoko Kirigiri Drama?? (NOT CLICKBAIT)**

_2 hours ago_ _490,000 views_

The video started off with Junko’s normal intro, a black and white background with red bolded text saying “Despair Queen” sliding in.

“Hello my little pricks! Welcome back to another video from me, your fairly local Despair Queen!” Junko flashed a smile to the camera. “So today I have the scoop on YouTubers The Gaming Detective,” a picture of Kyoko flashed on screen, “and The Hope Gamer.” It was then replaced by a picture of Naegi.

“So, in a group chat of YouTubers from America and the United Kingdom, Makoto Naegi and Kyoko Kirigiri were fighting over Naegi taking Kirigiri’s laptop. What a lame fight, am I right?” Junko rolled her eyes, scoffing. “Real fights end in someone dead, seriously.”

Screenshots popped up of the Skype chat. “See? How lame.” The pink haired female scoffed, flipping her hair. “They don’t know what the hell a real fight is.”

The video went on, Junko _constantly_ complaining about how the couple wasn’t actually fighting and how they could have made it better until she finally cut everything at the 10 minute mark (Gotta make that YouTube money somehow). 

* * *

 **Kyoko:** JUNKO I’M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU!

 **Junko:** oh cmon bby let me live. Gotta make that youtube money somehwo

_Naegi is typing…_

**Kyoko:** You’re so fucking dead Junko.

 **Naegi:** somehow*

 **Asahina:** Makoto not the time, damn.

 **Kyoko:** Makoto you’re walking on fucking thin ice right now.

 **Asahina:** She just yelled “yuo’re sleeping on the couch tonight damn it.”

_Naegi is typing…_

**Kyoko:** Damn right I did.

 **Kyoko:** Also Aoi find somewhere else to sleep tonight.

 **Naegi:** Kyoko ;-;-; my love ;-;;;;; im sorry ;-;;;; pls ;-;;; let me into the room baby pls ily ;=;

 **Kyoko:** No. Also Junko if you make a video about this I swear I will kill you, bring you back to life, and kill you again.

 **Junko:** oh boo hoo kyoko can’t takr a fucking joek

 **Kyoko:** Take* Joke* damn learn to spell.

 **Asahina:** Kyoko damn learn to chill.

 **Kyoko:** Asahina you’re sleeping on the couch with Makoto.

 **Asahina:** How do you know i won’t like make out with him???

 **Kyoko:** Because you’re both dead otherwise. 

* * *

Naegi and Asahina regretted **_everything_ **.

“Why are we so stupid?” Naegi whined, stealing the blanket from the other for the 289479385893th time. “She kicked us ooooout.”

“It’s called don’t sass the grammar queen herself.” Asahina groaned in annoyance, hugging her knees to her chest. “It’s coooold.”

The two continued bickering about everything from sassing the grammar queen herself to how they could kill Junko.

* * *

 **Naegi:** Kyoko babe it’s cooooold.

 **Kyoko:** Shush I’m asleep.

 **Naegi:** no you’re not??

 **Asahina:** The one fucking time you use grammar.

 **Komaeda:** herE coMe DaT BoiIIiIIIIIIIIIiiiii

 **Hinata:** oh shit waddup

 **Chiaki:** both of you are gonna die at school just a heads up

 **Komaeda:** There go dat boi

 **Hinata:** Oh shit goodbye

 **Celes:** Why the fuck are you all awake? It’s like 12:30.

 **Sonia:** It’s 7:30 here ^^

 **Souda:** yeah its 7:30 here listen to the princess <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Leon:** ew heterosexuals

 **Naegi:** but youre hetero????

 **Leon:** Naegi I’m as straight as a froot loop


	2. Broken Kyoko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we fixed the wildly OOC ones- Kyoko and Chiaki. The reasoning we used is that they were sleep-deprived. ~Author Kyoko

**Kyoko:** Makoto, Aoi, I’m so sorry about last night.

**Naegi:** its fine you were slep depvi

**Naegi:** deprivde

**Naegi:** deprived

**Naegi:** fric kyeah i did it

**Naegi:** SHIT

**Asahina:** Makoto omg learn to type

**Komaeda:** Wtf are you all doing up its like six am there

**Kyoko:** I didn’t realize six AM was a weird time to get up.

**Peko:** It’s not. He just gets up at seven AM like people.

**Akane:** like peopel??

**Akane:** People*

**Naegi:** if ti werent for my babe aoi and i would alwasy sleep until 2 mp

**Kyoko:** He’s not lying.

**Togami:** Naegi you’re fucking grammar.

**Kyoko:** Your* 

* * *

Komaeda laughed as he set down his phone, turning to the rest of the group. “I can’t tell if they’re tired or drunk, honestly.”

“Knowing Asahina, it could really be either,” Chiaki pointed out, shrugging as she opened a game on her phone. “Besides, it’s like asking if Ibuki is drunk or just really energized.”

“Ibuki has never been drunk!” the quirky musician spoke, a wide smile on her face. “Ibuki hasn’t and never will be drunk! Oh, yeah, so I was watching some of the American YouTubers that you guys added to the group chat on Skype and holy crap, I really love Junko’s-”

“IBUKI,” Akane started, obviously annoyed with the constant talking from the other. “Stooop, I will fight you.”

This is what lead to the argument between all of the rich British pricks. 

* * *

**Ibuki:** Akane’s meeeeean. She threatened to fight me at schoolo

**Ibuki:** School*

**Chihiro:** btu did you desreve it?

**Chiaki:** she really didn’t, Chihiro

**Naegi:** im a dead d human

**Kyoko:** No you’re not.

**Asahina:** Yore bery much alvue

**Kyoko:** Aoi is the dead one.

**Kyoko:** Shes tired from todays classe.

_Chiaki, Fukawa, Naegi and 21 others are typing…_

**Kyoko:** MY PHONE MESSED ME UP.

**Chiaki:** oh my god

**Hinata:** HERE COME DAT INCORRECT GRAMMAR

**Komaeda:** OH SHIT WADDUP

**Akane:** she typed it wrong oml

**Togami:** Kyoko I thought you knew how to type?

**Naegi:** w o w b a b y w o w

**Asahina:** WOW MY BEST FRIEND DID SO WELL AT TYPING LOL

**Kyoko:** … Is nobody on my side?

**Hagakure:** no onbody is on your sied

**Touko:** how did the frammar wueen screw up ths basdlt

**Sonia:** Kirigiri-san I thought you were good at typing ^^

**Sayaka:** lololol wow Kyokster

**Sakura:** Guys, it was autocorrect.

**Peko:** Kyoko, even I type better and I am a junior.

**Mondo:** Oh how the mighty have fallen

**Mahiru:** this chat got blown up over this

**Leon:** In the past 4 years ive kown her shes never typed that badly

**Ishimaru:** Kyoko! How could you not check your messaeg 80 times before sending it?!

**Souda:** lmoa she did a bad

**Ibuki:** lmao good job krigir

**Saionji:** haha krigiri cant type

**Yamada:** lolololololol i can type better

**Chihiro:** Guys, leave her aloneeee.

**Celes:** Hah, there goes your credibility out the window~

**Junko:** lol so id anybody else screenshit that and put it on instagram?????

**Kyoko:** …

**Naegi:** she locked herself in the bedreoom

**Asahina:** we’re not gonna see her for three months

**Komaeda:** rest in peaches kyoko kirigiri 

* * *

**The Gaming Detective** has uploaded a video titled

**So We Might Have Broken Kyoko…**

_30 minutes ago   10,000 views_

The video began abruptly without any sign of Kyoko’s normal intro. Naegi and Asahina sat in front of the camera, wearing twin sheepish looks.

“Soooo… hey guys,” Naegi began, drawing the words out. “So as you guys have probably noticed by now, Kyoko hasn’t uploaded a video in three days.”

“Don’t worry, she’s not dead,” Asahina added quickly. “She’s just locked herself in the bedroom and only comes out for meals and school.”

An awkward pause, before they said in unison, “We may have murdered her pride.”

A long silence ensued, before the brunet male took a deep breath. “She made a spelling mistake on the Skype group chat that you guys have probably heard about.”

Another silence, this one to let that sink in. Even Kyoko’s fanbase was aware she made typographical errors once in a… never.

A screenshot of the error- cropped to remove the teasing comments that came after- flashed on the screen.

“So… yeah.” Asahina laughed nervously. “That’s what happened, and… don’t bother her about it when she gets back, guys? It should be by the end of the week.”

“We’re reaaaally sorry,” Naegi promised with a forced smile. “Well, um, that’s all we really wanted to say…?”  
  
“Yeah.” Asahina quickly nodded in agreement. “Kyoko will see you guys soon!”

The video cut off there. 

* * *

**FlooferButt** _5 minutes ago_

;-;;;;;; awe rip our beloved detective

_18 likes_

**Kyoko’s #1 Husbando** _27 minutes ago_

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BREAK KYOKO SHE IS SUCH A QUEEN AND I LOVE HER AND SHE IS MINE FUCK OFF NAEGI ANYWAYS DONT BREAK MY FUCKING QUEEN LIKE DAMN SHES SO PERFECT AND YOU JUST BROKE HER AND WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO MEAN LIKE WHAT THE FUCK YOU REALLY DIDNT NEED TO DO THAT SHE IS THE ONE WHOS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTING VIDEOS, NOT YOU TWATS AND YOU BOTH JUST NEED TO GET OFF OF HER CHANNEL AND JUST LET HER BE MINE I SWEAR NAEGI SHES MINE YOU LITTLE FUCK

_1 like_  

* * *

**Komaeda:** is kyoko unbroken yet??

**Naegi:** no, no shes not

**Kyoko:** Actually, yes. Yes, I am.

**Asahina:** She may be unbroken but is se oaky?

**Kyoko:** A valid question. I don’t know.

**Komaeda:** Anywasy

**Hinata:** Acordian to all knwon laws of aviation

**Komaeda:** A bee should not be able to fly

**Chiaki:** Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground

**Mahiru:** nanami you have betrayed us

**Chiaki:** They paid me.

**Junko:** Paid you how lololo

**Chiaki:** Euros

**Junko:** nothign like idk otehr stuff? Lamee

**Komaeda:** we didnt pay her she ust loves uis enough

**Kyoko:** … I thought you weren’t dating?

**Chiaki:** WE AREN’T OML

**Chiaki:** THE GAYS ARE DATING I AM A SINGLE TRASHCAN

**Junko:** show me the carfax

**Chiaki:** Bitch ive never even kissed anyone

**Junko:** lol trying to play innoent

**Kyoko:** Did anybody else notice Hinata just suddenly vanished?

**Hinata:** Im here but jfc dont do that to Chiaki

**Hinata:** ko and i are happy gays pls 

* * *

 

**Kyoko’s #1 Husbando** _3 days ago_

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BREAK KYOKO SHE IS SUCH A QUEEN AND I LOVE HER AND SHE IS MINE FUCK OFF NAEGI ANYWAYS DONT BREAK MY FUCKING QUEEN LIKE DAMN SHES SO PERFECT AND YOU JUST BROKE HER AND WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO MEAN LIKE WHAT THE FUCK YOU REALLY DIDNT NEED TO DO THAT SHE IS THE ONE WHOS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTING VIDEOS, NOT YOU TWATS AND YOU BOTH JUST NEED TO GET OFF OF HER CHANNEL AND JUST LET HER BE MINE I SWEAR NAEGI SHES MINE YOU LITTLE FUCK

            **The Gaming Detective ** _8 minutes ago_

           I should call the cops on you. Jesus Christ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUOTE WALL:  
> “She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll hit you with a book”  
> smail


	3. Typo Shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a flashback incorporated in this chapter. Hopefully it's pretty seamless, but if not, the video is the flashback. ~Author Kyoko

**Asahina:** Kyokooo, do you remember how everyone constantly said you should play the Ace Attorney games?

 **Kyoko:** Yes, I remember.

 **Kyoko:** What about it?

 **Asahina:** Just think baaack. You were so skeptical and now look at your channel.

 **Kyoko:** To be fair, it’s the kind of thing I enjoy.

 **Kyoko:** I wouldn’t play an MMO or MOBA like Nanami.

_Chiaki is typing..._

**Asahina:** Riiiiight, but your AA series is what got you to where you are now. You’re still growing too.

 **Chiaki:** But they’re fuuuuuuun.

 **Kyoko:** Fun or not, singleplayer games with detailed plots are more my style.

* * *

 **Detective Kirigiri** has uploaded a video titled

**Q &A With Kyoko**

_20 minutes ago   250 views_

A pure black background appeared, with the words ‘Detective Kirigiri’ in white fading into existence slowly. Soft piano music played in the background.

Kyoko’s face faded in, a plain black background emitted by the green screen popping up. “Hey everyone,” she greeted. “So, a while back I asked you all for some questions to answer, and I got a lot more than I expected.” She glanced down at her phone, where she had noted down what had been asked of her. “It’s probably best to start this off by saying, no, I am not a lesbian, and that that was a rumor started by Junko to cause drama. I have-” The silver-haired detective coughed, falling suspiciously silent. “Anyway, let’s move onto the other questions.”

Kyoko started reading off the questions, most of them mundane, but one of them asking if she was in a polyamorous relationship with Makoto Naegi and Aoi Asahina. This one actually gave her pause for a moment, before she clarified that sharing an apartment was not synonymous with dating.

Also, yes, she paid for the rent and all the bills.

She was beginning to answer a question about whether or not she would play Ace Attorney- a bunch of people had been asking her to- when there was the sounds of shouting in the background. Kyoko slowly closed her mouth, in time to hear Asahina yell, “NAEGI!”

“They’re probably fighting over the last cookie,” she mused to the camera. “I’ll be right back.”

The video cut to black for a couple of seconds, before Kyoko returned. “I was right. They were fighting over the last cookie.” Silence ensued, and if one looked closely, they would see a long-suffering look in her purple eyes. “Anyways, as I was saying- no, I won’t be playing Ace Attorney on this channel.”

Checking the time, she noticed it was almost five minutes into the video. “I think that’s enough questions for today. See you guys next time!”

* * *

**Lia Marie Blender** _14 minutes ago_

Waifuuuuu you should play AA itll be fun~

_35 likes_

**Kyoko’s A Lesbian** _3 minutes ago_

You neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to play Ace Attorneyyyyyyy

_8 likes_

**Yes**    _8 minutes ago_

Oooh I think kirigiri has a crush on the egggggg

_11 likes_

**Detective Kirigiri** _38 seconds ago_

            I refuse to dignify this with an answer.

* * *

 **Chiaki:** Lmao when you starte daying “I have…” were you gonna say I have a crush on Naegi??

 **Kyoko:** No.

 **Kyoko:** …

 **Kyoko:** Yes.

 **Komaeda:** Awwwwww

 **Hinata:** So cute otp

 **Asahina:** You should’v e said it bc whenm you gusy would have gotetn together a year arlier than you duid

 **Naegi:** don’t you know everythng about eveynoe babe?? Woudln’t you know i had a crsh on you??

 **Komaeda:** Naegi do you know how to atupe

 **Hinata:** the questuon is do you

 **Komaeda:** r00d you're one to talk

 **Hinata:** square up babe I'm gonna fite

 **Komaeda:** meet me in the pitc

 **Kyoko:** Is... Is this an ego battle?

 **Chiaki:** they do this a lot don't mind them

 **Kyoko:** How do you deal with them? I need to figure out how to deal with Makoto and Aoi fighting over the last cookie.

 **Naegi:** we don't stoll do that babe

 **Kyoko:** You were fighting over the last cookie last night.

 **Chiaki:** I've knwon them for years Kirigiri. It's kinda normal now

 **Kyoko:** Worth a try.

 **Celes:** I do not envy you, Kyoko.

 **Kyoko:** I don't envy myself.

 **Chiaki:** I envy anyone without idiots as their friends/significant others

 **Komaeda:** not babe that's r00d

 **Kyoko:** Wait.

 **Asahina:** I thought you guys weren't saying????

 **Kyoko:** *Dating

 **Hinata:** she's our not girlfrie d

 **Komaeda:** we call her that 24/7

 **Kyoko:** Okay but... You don't have to say not girlfriend?

 **Kyoko:** There are nicknames for friends.

 **Naegi:** yeah like donut !!

 **Chiaki:** Kirigiri just let it happen

 **Chiaki:** it's been happening for two years

 **Junko:** tow yrs u say??

 **Hinata:** she's been our cute not babe gor twi tyeas

 **Komaeda:** we've been freidbs longer but just started calling her not babe thwn

 **Asahina:** cute "not" bane

 **Asahina:** *babe

 **Chiaki:** guys I'm not cute shut

 **Komaeda:** not baby girl ur adoravld

 **Asahina:** baby guel

 **Naegi:** that's smth you call ur boy/girlfriend

 **Naegi:** not a not significant other

 **Kyoko:** They're right.

 **Naegi:** I call Kyoko baby girl everysooften but we're actually dating

 **Junko:** so r u gys dting bc prettui sre u r

 **Chiaki:** we aren't

 **Junko:** les see wat yt thnks

 **Kyoko:** Junko, that's unnecessary.

 **Junko:** >:)

 **Chiaki:** dont

 **Junko:** wtch me

 **Komaeda:** Junko no

 **Junko:** Jnko _yse_

 **Hinata:** no

 **Junko:** toooo lte~

 **Komaeda:** fck

 **Asahina:** rip the ot3

 **Chiaki:** shut up Asahina

 **Kyoko:** When Junko releases that video you know you'll have at least a thousand people thinking you're all together right?

 **Komaeda:** f u ck

 **Asahina:** once she Saadi Kuoko was a Legian

 **Asahina:** *lesbian

 **Chiaki:** I remmeber oml

 **Kyoko:** There are still people who think I'm only dating Makoto for "heteronormativity."

 **Asahina:** but you're not

 **Kyoko:** Exactly. Junko's rumours take forever to dispel.

 **Junko:** hehe~

 **Chiaki:** Junko pls I'm not dating then

 **Junko:** its u ginst my scrbers!

 **Kyoko:** Her subscribers believe anything she says.

 **Naegi:** its weitd

 **Junko:** yp nd there gona lve this

 **Chiaki:** I am single u bitvh

 **Kyoko:** … I’m going to bed.

 **Chiaki:** best for your sanity.

 **Kyoko:** Goodnight. Best of luck, Nanami.

 **Chiaki:** im gonna just

 **Chiaki:** sleep 

 **Chiaki:** Nigth

 **Chiaki:** have fun with your boyfriend nagito gn

 **Komaeda:** Dont leave me pls

 **Komaeda:** Chiaki

 **Komaeda:** chiaki

 **Komaeda:** chiaki nanami

 **Komaeda:** not babe

 **Komaeda:** my not girlfriend

 **Junko:** ur dure abut the not datng thng

 **Komaeda:** my home slice bread slice

 **Komaeda:** not baby

 **Komeda:** not adorable baby girl pls

 **Junko:** edting th vidoe

 **Komaeda:** f ri c k

 **Junko:** >:)

 **Komaeda** has changed the conversation name to **Regrets.**

 **Chiaki:** me too not babe

 **Komaeda:** pls help m e

 **Komaeda:** and shes gone

 **Celes:** … I’m going to bed. Goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUOTE WALL:  
> “Ok, chool.”  
> Monokuma is Junko’s child.


	4. OT3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not massive so it's not tagged as a ship but there is hinted Monokuma/Junko in this fic. Yay for humanization. ~Author Kyoko

**Despair Queen** has uploaded a video titled

**OT3?? Chiaki Nanami, Nagito Komaeda, and Hajime Hinata?? (NOT CLICKBAIT)**

_ 50 minutes ago    60,000 views _

Junko’s normal intro slid in, quickly being replaced by the image of the grinning she-devil herself.

“Hello my little pricks! Welcome back to another video from me, your fairly local Despair Queen!” Junko flashed a smile to the camera. “Alright, so, there’s been SO MUCH happening in the ‘Regrets’ group chat.” At that, you could see a faint twinkle in her eye.

“So, British YouTubers Chiaki Nanami, Nagito Komaeda, and Hajime Hinata are either possibly dating or are honestly freaking dating I mean let me show you this freaking convo.”

Then screenshots of Hinata and Komaeda calling Chiaki the different “not” pet names from the night before popped up. “See what I mean? They are  _ so  _ totally dating. No one calls someone they’re not dating their ‘baby girl,’ seriously.” Junko rolled her eyes to the sky, shaking her head a little.

She continued to discuss the obvious evidence of the OT3, picking apart each pet name and why it definitely meant the two boys were dating Chiaki. “Seriously, anyone with half a brain can see they are head over heels. They’d trip over their own feet and fall into a lake, they’re so lovestruck.”

Finally, at the 9:50 mark (gotta make that YouTube money somehow), she cut the video, with a final comment of, “Now, when will these hopelessly in love idiots admit it?”

* * *

**Kyoko:** Should I assume that Junko’s new video and the conversation title are correlated?

**Komaeda:** yes

**Hinata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Kyoko:** Is he okay?

**Hinata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Chiaki:** none of us are

**Hinata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Komaeda:** ok babe thats enough scaramnig

**Hinata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Chiaki:** we’re all scaming on th inside

**Chiaki:** *screaming

**Asahina:** kay but like

**Asahina:** was junko actuall right

**Komaeda:** no

**Chiaki:** no

**Hinata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Celes:** Is Junko ever right?

**Kyoko:** She makes a point.

**Asahina:** buit then why is Hianta screaming

**Hinata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Chiaki:** Hajime????

**Komaeda:** babe??

**Hinata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Junko:** hi thir~

**Hinata:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Chiaki:** You broke my not boufroie

**Chiaki:** boyfriedn

**Chiaki:** boyfrined

**Chiaki:** B o y f r i e n d

**Junko:** ooo is ths a admissssion???

**Chiaki:** what if it i s

**Komaeda:** nont bae stop

**Hinata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Junko:** tht sndede likea s confesssin ~~

**Chiaki:** it wasnt

**Chiaki:** I was joking

**Junko:** show zxme the caarcax

**Komaeda:** Junko you broke my boyfriend

**Hinata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Junko:** <3~

**Asahina:** ok ouc razy woman stop beeing a fcreep

**Kyoko:** Don’t you have a crush on Professor Monokuma?

**Junko:**

**Junko:** fck

**Chiaki:** oooooooooooooooooh? How old is he thooooo

**Komaeda:** yeah junko lol having a crush on ur professor?? Lol

**Kyoko:** He’s 26.

**Hinata:** ……………………………………

**Hinata:** tf

**Asahina:** hes seven yrs older tha you junjo???

**Junko:** let me lvie

**Junko:** es hto

**Hinata:** ew

**Junko:** t eb faro, rhinng of bake liveley amd ruan renodsl

**Hinata:** .. I like Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds but still.

**Kyoko:** ...the sad thing is, Junko’s right.

**Junko:** ha uer precisos dtectve afress with mex

**Kyoko:** I said you’re right. Not that I agree with you.

**Junko:** smd difgference

**Hinata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Chiaki:** Hajime are you okay???

**Hinata:** don’t check your twitters

**Chiaki:** ...rght

**Chiaki:** I fotgot abvout that

* * *

**Kia** @twentygaypilots   _ 5 minutes ago _

**@hajimeme @ultimategirlgaming @komameme** y’all sure u ain’t dating

**Hajime <3 ** @hajimeme   _ 3 minutes ago _

**@twentygaypilots** yes

**Komaeda** **Ɛ > ** @komameme   _ 2 minutes ago _

**@twentygaypilots** chiaki is single meme

**Chiaki ;P** @ultimategirlgaming  _  38 seconds ago _

**@twentygaypilots @komameme** im single but dont rub it in Nagito

* * *

**Naegi:** wow even when kyoko and me announced when we were datiug our twirtters didnt blwo up this much

**Kyoko:** … True.

**Naegi:** kyokol ily

**Naegi:** koyko

**Naegi:** kyoko

**Asahina:** koko powder

**Kyoko:** Thanks, Donut.

* * *

Chiaki walked into the living room of Komaeda’s house, completely unsurprised to find him face-down on the couch, with Hinata sitting on the floor playing video games. She walked over to flop down beside Hinata, staring at the fan on the ceiling. “Junko’s video caused a lot of drama, didn’t it?”

“Mmffggg mmmnnngffff,” Komaeda mumbled into the couch.

“She’s dead to him,” Hinata translated without looking up. “And yeah, it caused a lot of drama. Has anyone been harassing you about it, Chiaki?”

“No,” Chiaki replied, before reconsidering. Actually… “Well, I mean there’s this one guy on Twitter and YouTube who’s been getting on my case about it.”

That was enough to get Hinata to look up from his gaming, and Komaeda lifted his head from the couch. “We will fight,” they said in unison.

The smaller girl gave a little laugh. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it taken care of- and even if I didn’t, you should see my fanbase tearing into him on comment threads and stuff.”

“Oh yeah, that reminds me,” Hinata commented. “You’re almost at one million, right? What are you gonna do for it?”

“Well, since I’m most likely going to hit one million just before PAX, I’m gonna challenge Kyoko to Mario Kart,” the girl gamer explained. “If I win, I wanna livestream some multiplayer games with her. If not… Komaeda, how do you feel about doing a 24-hour livestream with Hinata and I?”

“Anything for you, not babe~” The white haired male did finger guns to both of them.

“Seriously, we should just tell the group, honestly,” Hinata chuckled, setting his controller down.

“N to the freaking o.” Komaeda rolled his eyes. “I don’t want Junko being able to start MORE drama.”

“Besides,” Chiaki sat on the arm of the couch. “People might react badly to a polyamorous relationship.”

“Well, at least we can be bi with our baby meme~” Komaeda sat up, laughing as he put his arm around her waist.

“Never call me that again.” Chiaki puffed her cheeks, resting her head on his shoulder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUOTE WALL:  
> Gay formatting  
> “A cow for her cat”  
> Homaeda


	5. British Pricks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, we have a new author! Everyone say hello to Author Skittles. Also, the rich British pricks chatroom is a flashback. ~Author Kyoko

**Chiaki:** I woke up with the gays pinning me to the couch

**Junko:** in wht str fo wya wink wonk

**Komaeda:** no stop u sinner

**Hinata:** but ur also a sin meme naeb

**Chiaki:** It was nto liek that tho

**Chiaki:** i fell asleep pver jere

**Naegi:** morning nedrs

**Kyoko:** Makoto, it’s 11:30 here hush.

**Naegi:** let me be niec bayb

**Chiaki:** You guys shouud sleep. Dont you have classes tmr?

**Asahina:** mhm, with professro monokuam. Nobody understasdn him

**Junko:** i od

**Celes:** You’re a special snowflake.

**Hinata:** rip

**Chiaki:** rip rip rip

**Komaeda:** Chiaki go back to sleep istg youre rgwjlngwr’ngwrkjlngwr mon sleepiness.

**Chiaki:** wut

**Komaeda:** just go back to selep not babe

**Hinata:** ye go bakc ot sleoe babe

**Kyoko:** What.

**Naegi:** wat

**Asahina:** excues me

**Junko:** oOOoOhHooo

**Hinata:** sht

**Hinata:** i meant nnot babe

**Komaeda:** I thouhg i wsd ur baeb im hrut

**Hinata:** u r

**Komaeda:** ur chetaing on em with chiaki

**Hinata:** bbu no

**Komaeda:** divorce

**Hinata:** ko we’re ont married

**Hinata:** we’re 17

**Hinata:** u nerd

**Komaeda:** we are marride fite me

**Chiaki:** They’re fightng on top of me hlpe

**Junko:** that sonds interewfsseing

**Chiaki:** ?????

**Junko:** interesting

**Chiaki:** o

* * *

“Just get off of me, memes. You made one mistake, Hajime.” Chiaki rolled her eyes, pouting up at them.

“He nearly blew our cover!” Komaeda pouted back, crossing his arms.

“You look like a tiny kitten when you pout.”

“Shush, Hajime.” The white haired male stuck his tongue out, only to have the tip of it pecked by the other male. “Rude!”

“Memes in the streets, still memes in the sheets.” Chiaki rolled her eyes, a faint smile appearing on her lips.

“You’re part of this meme team, babe.” Hinata frowned in a mock hurt way.

* * *

**Naegi:** btw is anyone besides me, DOnut, Koko Powder, Celes and the she devul going to PAX

**Chiaki:** The gays, Peko, Fuyuhiko, Sonia and I were plannitg on going this year. We have a planel

**Komaeda:** wtf od s plsnel

**Chiaki:** panel

**Celes:** We should do a joint panel.

**Chiaki:** Tjat reminds me, Kyoko?

**Kyoko:** Hm?

**Chiaki:** i wanna challenge you to a few roudns of mario kate adn ic i win we livesgtream some mutplater games togrtjer and if you win i have to do a 24 hr live with the gays

**Kyoko:** Okay, sure.

**Asahina:** so are we gonna doa joiont panele

**Komaeda:** soudns godo to me

**Kyoko:** …

**Naegi:** is smweomthing wrong beabe?

**Kyoko:** Remember my YouTube stalker?

**Naegi:** yewh?

**Kyoko:** I just found out he’s going to PAX.

**Celes:** I’m gonna cut him.

**Asahina:** im ready 2 fite

**Komaeda:** I will hepl

**Komaeda:** but we have to go fors chool ew

**Kyoko:** We’ll see you all later.

* * *

Togami groaned as he wrote down something on a sheet of paper, crumpling it up and throwing it at Naegi.

A glare from a certain detective was shot back to the prick, before seeing her boyfriend snickering. She looked over his shoulder, reading the note.

“ _ Professor Monokuma is favoriting Junko. _ ”

Togami slightly leaned down from his row. “Tell them, Naegi,” he whispered.

The brunette nodded, standing up. “Guys, Professor Monokuma is favoriting Junko. I mean, do you SEE her down there on his desk?!”

* * *

**Mahiru:** Komaeda, remember when you tried to flirt with Hinata? Then he turned into no-fun-hajime

**Komaeda:** ……… lets not bring that up

**Souda:** even i can flirt better than you could a yeat ago

**Saionji:** if even souda says hes a better flirter tha you you reallya fuckde up

**Sonia:** Wow, it must have been quite bad. From what I have seen, Kazuichi is quite the pathetic flirt.

**Souda:** MISSS SONIA!

* * *

**Rich British Pricks**

**Togami:** I can't believe you named this chat after me.

**Komaeda** has kicked  **Togami** out of the conversation.

**Teruteru:** hey

**Komaeda:** go away

**Komaeda** has kicked  **Teruteru** out of the conversation.

**Komaeda:** thank god mkay so hey

**Fuyuhiko:** Thank you. He's so fuckin’ annoying.

**Mahiru:** He's sich a disgusting perv

**Komaeda:** so hajimeme

**Hinata:** ?

**Komaeda:** are you an angel without wings? ;D

**Hinata:** you mean a human?

**Mahiru:** no-fun-hajime strikes again.

**Komaeda:** hajimeme*

**Coca Cola:** no-fun-hajimeme

**Coca Cola:** who changed my screen name

**Sonia:** *whistling noises*

**Coca Cola:** y

**Sonia:** Because why not?

**Chiaki:** Thats your new nockname no-fun-hajime

**Komaeda:** i was trying to flirt

**Komaeda:** but u ruined it

**Peko:** You call that flirting?

**Hinata:** so donyou want me to wear wings now

**Komaeda:** gdi hajimeme just go out with me

**Hinata:** fine

**Komaeda:** whoa seriosuly

**Komaeda:** i thought you were into memeaki

**Chiaki:** so did i

**Fuyuhiko:** I'm pretty sure EVERYONE thought you liked Chiaki

**Hinata:** guys im gay

**Hinata:** like really gay

**Komaeda:** same

**Mahiru:** am i the only one who knew they were pretty dank gay

**Saionji:** HAHA u gaybos

**Mahiru:** Saionji, shut up, you're gay

**Fuyuhiko:** I’m pretty damn straight.

**Souda:** so am i

**Souda:** *looks at fuyuhiko* nvm im gay

**Fuyuhiko:** What the fuck

**Souda:** NOTHING

**Peko:** Excuse me?

**Souda:** fite me u four eyed lemon

**Peko:** I’m the Ultimate Swordswoman, are you sure?

**Souda:** NVM

**Souda:** im kidding tho i like miss sonia <3

**Saionji:** your totally gay 4 fuyu jist admit it

**Souda:** AM NOT

**Saionji:** am too!

**Souda:** AM NOTTTTTTT

**Peko:** Stop it you two. Just leave Fuyuhiko alone.

**Fuyuhiko:** It’s fine, let Souda do what he wants

* * *

**Fuyuhiko:** So remember that time about two years ago when I said I was straight?

**Naegi:** no, because i wasnt there

**Souda:** ya

**Fuyuhiko:** I'm super gay, like, really gay

**Fuyuhiko:** For Souda

**Souda:** wait reallg!!!1!???

**Mahiru:** aww thats really cute

**Chiaki:** knew it

**Peko:** I knew before everyone. Fuyuhiko entrusted me with that information.

**Fuyuhiko:** No, it's because you stalk me like a fucking creep

**Komaeda:** burn

**Komaeda:** also more gay

**Saionji:** omg dont we have enough gay ppl here????

**Mahiru:** SHUT UP YOUR GAY

**Saionji:** whaaaaat no im not

**Mahiru:** says the one who hsowered w/ me

**Saionji:** bitch

**Hinata:** wait when did yhis happen?

**Mahiru:** dont ask

**Hinata:** no srsly

**Saionji:** shut the fuck up moron!!!!

**Peko:** How about we move away from this topic so people won't get upset?

**Ibuki:** you guyys keep talkin about this gay thing buuiut what does it meeean

**Hinata:** just look at komaeda then youll understand

**Komaeda:** i am the gay

**Ibuki:** komaedas the gay?

**Mahiru:** well, not really but…

**Komaeda:** im the gay

**Mikan:** wwwwwell gay is when two people if the same gender love each other

**Ibuki:** so im also the gay?

**Peko:** Am I the only heterosexual one here?

**Hinata:** probably

**Kyoko:** What about Makoto and I?

**Peko:** You’re the only other heterosexuals.

**Komaeda:** Say hey if youre gay

_ Chiaki, Hinata, Fuyuhiko and 22 others are typing… _

**Chiaki:** hey

**Hinata:** hey

**Fuyuhiko:** hey

**Komaeda:** lets just

**Komaeda:** stop that there

**Saionji:** eww yoyre all such gross homos

**Mahiru:** Saionji

**Mahiru:** YOU’RE

**Mahiru:** GAY

**Komaeda:** hajime come 2 bed with me

**Hinata:** k fine

**Komaeda:** yay

**Fuyuhiko:** Night fuckers

**Komaeda:** no not tonight

**Fuyuhiko:** WHAT!?

**Hinata:** ko say bye

**Komaeda:** bye

**Komaeda:** no-fun-hajime say bye

**Hinata:** bye

**Chiaki:** it works because theyre both bi

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUOTE WALL:  
> Himata  
> Guyuhiko  
> Snoia  
> Hinaya  
> You complained about my driving, but did you die?  
> “Professor monokuma is fricking junko”   
> Mahiru is a guy  
> Togami is a girl  
> Was he literally dying? No? I had to check because this is Danganronpa  
> Komaeda is a hope bagel  
> “Was that a good impression of Ao- I almost said Yaoi” ~Chiaki  
> Someones gotta die because the Dangan Ronpa kids aren’t ~Kyoko


	6. That's Not How You Flirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter contains brief innuendos, but nothing explicit.

**Souda:** Miss Sonia

**Souda:** damn girl, are you a damn gkrl cuz damn girl

**Sonia:** Damn girl, are you the terms and conditions because I don't give a fuck about what you have to say

**Chiaki:** BURN

**Gundham:** That was quite a funny joke, good job Sonia

**Souda:** im really salty now

**Kyoko:** Pass the salt, please.

**Souda:** k *throws fuyuhiko across the table*

**Kyoko:** That is not what I meant.

**Fuyuhiko:** You didn't have to literally throw me across the table, bastard

**Kyoko:** I can't believe you actually did that.

**Fuyuhiko:** So are we gonna plan PAX shit? Peko said that she wanted to do a cosplay with me…

**Peko:** It was your idea

**Souda:** FUYU Y DID U DO THAT

**Naegi:** wut

**Souda:** WHY DID YOU POUR YOUR DRINK ON ME

**Fuyuhiko:** YOU THREW ME ACROSS THE FUCKING TABLE

**Souda:** FUCK YOU

**Kyoko:** What a fantastic relationship.

**Komaeda:** hey guys

**Komaeda:** what is it called when you kill a friend?

**Komaeda:** homieside

**Hinata:** murder

**Junko:** homieside

**Hinata:** GET OUT

**Hinata** has removed  **Junko** from the conversation.

**Junko** has added  **Junko** to the conversation.

**Junko:** lol nah

**Hinata:** HOW THE FUCK DOD YOU DO THAT

**Chihiro:** It’s pretty easy if you know what you're doing...

**Saionji:** yay sges back

**Naegi:** how is this a yay??

**Celes:** May we just kill her?

**Kyoko:** Yes please.

**Junko:** yes plz

**Chiaki:** you dont need to kill her celes

**Fuyuhiko:** It’s not gonna be any fun if she WANTS to die

**Celes:** True, true.

**Junko:** awwww u got mu hopes up

**Komaeda:** GUYS SHE SAID HOPE

**Junko:** no i didnt

**Junko:** guess what

**Junko:** yas queen

**Naegi:** ???

**Hinata:** …?

**Hinata:** anyways   
  
**Hinata:** ko’s just over here   
  
**Hinata:** hardcore hoping

**Chiaki:** he isn’r lying

**Kyoko:** That sounds believable.

**Fuyuhiko:** How does one… “Hope”?

**Hinata:** have you MET komaeda??

**Fuyuhiko:** Sadly, yes

_ 3 minutes later _

**Celes:** *crickets chirping*

**Kyoko:** This is probably a good time to discuss PAX.

**Hifumi:** Time to pack my bags and leave

**Hifumi** packs his bags and leaves.

**Hifumi** has left the conversation.

**Celes:** Can… Can we not readd him?

**Naegi** has added  **Hifumi** to the conversation.

**Celes:** Burn in hell.

**Kyoko:** …

**Naegi:** in kyoko-ese “...” is a threat

**Naegi:** run celes if you wanna live

**Celes:** Lol nah

**Junko:** me 2

**Komaeda:** me three

**Asahina:** Guys could you maybe lighten up a little?

**Kyoko:** I believe we were going to talk about PAX?

**Kyoko:** By the way, Hinata, your cousin is going.

**Hinata:** f ri c k

**Naegi:** why is that so bad??

**Komaeda:** N O T I Z U R U

**Chiaki:** N o. N e v e r. A g a i n.

**Celes:** What’s going on here?

**Komaeda:** Izuru Kamukura. The Ultimate A s s h o l e.

**Hinata:** he overachieves in everything

**Junko:** ooo i met kaakura 1nce

**Junko:** he wad cute

**Hinata:** no

**Hinata:** junko have a crush on your professor not my cousin

**Hinata:** junko no

**Hinata:** bad junko

**Komaeda:** hajime she’s not a bvabdog

**Asahina:** but why is he so badd???

**Komaeda:** HES THE D EV I L

**Komaeda:** HE NEEDS TO D IE

**Hinata:** ko baby pls

**Komaeda:** nO

**Komaeda:** HES AN ASSHOle

**Asahina:** but y???

**Hinata:** can we not talk about it??

**Chiaki:** he called the note babes unspeakadb le things

**Komaeda:** And he claled chiaki some slurs and i wanted to kill him

**Fuyuhiko:** We’ll help you kill him

**Hinata:** ok guys he’s homophobc klet’s move on to PAX stiff

**Celes:** So… Are we doing a joint panel?

**Kyoko:** I think we all agreed we would, no?

**Naegi:** mhm and i wanna see kyoko beat ciaki in mario kart

**Komaeda:** binch its the ther wat aroudn

**Asahina:** have u ever seen koko powder play mario kart??

**Hinata:** but chiaki is literally the best gamer out there

**Hinata:** i will fite

**Asahina:** ok

**Asahina:** but have you ever seen koko powder play mario karty

**Naegi:** no really have u\

**Komaeda:** ive been to her MK streams. Shes gonna lose sorry

**Kyoko:** I came out here to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.

**Sayaka:** okay but kyoko have you ever been nearly stabbed

**Kyoko:** Honestly?

**Naegi:** waIT BABE WHAT   
  
**Asahina:** whaut   
  
**Kyoko:** No.

**Naegi:** WHY DID YOU SCARE ME LIEK THAT BAEB

**Asahina:** i SECOND THAT!

**Leon:** why was i never told about this @ sasyaka

**Sayaka:** sorry, Leon, I was really freaked out

**Naegi:** who wouldnt be

**Kyoko:** Me.

**Naegi:** ok trhats true

* * *

Asahina lay face-down on the couch, trying to block herself out from the world. She was interrupted from her forced meditation by a knock on the apartment door.

Asahina debated whether or not to get up, before yelling something that vaguely sounded like “Come in, it’s open!”

Celestia Ludenburg glided in in all her gothic glory. “Greetings, Asahina,” she said crisply.

“You know you can just say hello to me, right?”

“Yes,” Celes replied simply, leaving it at that. “Also, where are Kirigiri and Naegi? I need to speak to them.”

“They’re… occupied.”

You could see the exact moment realization dawned on Celes’ face. “...I’ll come back later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I dropped my plushie on my face” “Which plushie” “Monokuma” “What are you, Junko?” ~Skittles, Kyoko, Skittles and Chiaki, in that order  
> “Naegi, please explain this fucking nonsense” (from the abridged series)  
> “You unbelievable shit stains” (from the abridged series)  
> “Kyoko, you’re just as cynical and done with everyone's shit as I am.” (from the abridged series)  
> “This is probably not how I’m supposed to be learning Danganronpa” “Yes it is”  
> Hope bullets  
> Celesbian  
> Freakle  
> Hiata  
> Nagu Makito  
> Neggi (thanks Google Translate)  
> Fricking meme fricks

**Author's Note:**

> QUOTE WALL:
> 
> Rawr xD  
> The train of thought has broken down.  
> “The night of February 15th started off relatively calm, until Junko happened”  
> Ameican  
> United America meets Kingdom
> 
> Our Tumblr is:
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/america-meets-united-kingdom


End file.
